Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
