Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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