And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
