My nipple is on Facebook.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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