She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
