I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
