I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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