Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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