After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
