At least make sure they are 18
Why
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
