hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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