You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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