I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
