There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
