Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
