you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
did you just send me my own nude
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
