She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize