AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
