He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize