everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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