I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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