i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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