I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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