Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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