The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
