her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.