even my farts smell like vagina
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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