My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
