I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
