the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
