Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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