I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
