70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I lost the right to judge tonight
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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