How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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