Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
