..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
