I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
