She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
