i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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