So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
