It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
