there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
