We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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