i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
