If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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