I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
