I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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