pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
