I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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