Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
