u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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