Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize