How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
