apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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