At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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