mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize