Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
smell my finger.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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